We have been here for 5 days and because the world hasn't fallen into my lap, I get feelings of doubt and discouragement. I have prayed and listened to the Lord and each time I do there is this silence. My mind begins to race and my thoughts drown out the fact that I am blessed. We have been given an opportunity many would never dare take, or even dream of. Not because they are bad people but rather they have other dreams and ambitions.
Nate and Shyle have been an amazing and incredible support. Not only have they extended their home to us, but their lives and let us enter in and take a few glances around for ourselves. Sure, they have a great place and all the love you can imagine between a married couple. BUT, that wasn't without a fight...a fight to trust God and endure times when things got scary and lonely. This couple is the prime example of staring down fate and saying, "This isn't over yet."
I talked to my parents this evening and something came out of my mouth that I never thought would, I said, "Gerald and I both know that God led us out here, for reasons we aren't quite sure yet... but either way we have both grown and this part of our path will be used... no matter the outcome."
That's not so bad you say, but you see I am a person with a point to prove. I like to come out successful and without a scratch. But I believe the point may be,that God didn't put me on this earth to live in my safety net and contend with only my problems. He gave me a heart to serve and have compassion for others and in order to better understand I need to get my feathers ruffled a little bit more and to learn how to truly have faith when this control I think I have actually doesn't exist.
madly deeply,
bekah
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